Coping with separate parenting
Below are links to a series of articles by Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW, concerning parenting through and after your separation and/or divorce. The articles are intended to guide you through the sometimes un-chartered waters of separate parenting. Gary Direnfeld is an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital therapy and family therapy.
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Articles |
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1 |
If you are going to reach an agreement at the eleventh hour, better make sure it's workable. Here's how to improve the odds. |
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Quite frankly... second fiddle to conflict |
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Don't kid yourself, even if you are low-conflict, your children can be seriously affected. |
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4 |
If you think ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder, then read this article... Particularly if you are in the middle of a high-conflict separation or divorce. |
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5 |
Abuse? Neglect? Parental alienation? Maybe just normal childhood behaviour... |
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6 |
Separated and starting a new family? So what do the children call you? |
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Settling child custody matters can be made easier. This may help. |
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New Internet services help parents keep track of schedules, communications and more - a real service to those in conflict... |
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Those affidavits you've been collecting may work against you... |
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10 |
Custody battles are kinda like monkey traps. Here's a way out... |
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11 |
At what age can a child decide who they live with? |
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Parental conflict during separation can be categorized as low, medium and high... |
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13 |
Friend? Lawyer?... How about a social worker! |
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If you don 't think an affair will play into separation, Child custody and access issues, then read this... |
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That letter of support you asked for... could cause you trouble. Here's why... |
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Child Custody refers to the legal right to make decisions... |
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17 |
Looking for an alternative way to resolve disputes without the threat of Court? Check this out... |
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18 |
The lawyer you choose and and their approach to settlement can affect your kids... |
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19 |
Kids of Separated Parents: The Annual Holiday Access Dispute |
Have you settled your holiday plans yet? Consider this advice... |
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There is more to choosing an assessor than their professional credentials... |
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21 |
With all the attention on the kids, what about the adjustment parents make to their separation... |
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22 |
Kids often know how close their parents can be to each other. The level of conflict is the key... |
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23 |
This article discusses issues and strategies to manage the return of an absent parent who demands access. |
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24 |
Some disputes go all the way. If this sounds like your situation, you are now at the will of the Court. |
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25 |
Your eldest is from a prior relationship and now s/he wants more time with the other parent... What do you do? |
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26 |
Who started the conflict matters less than how to go forward. Remember the Wizard of Oz? |
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27 |
Separated parents who undermine their child's relationship to the other parent wind up hurting their child and themselves. Here's how... |
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28 |
Here are the four strategies available to parents... |
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29 |
What to do when parents despise each other and the child is caught in the middle... |
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30 |
Mediating Child Behaviour Problems Between Separated Parents – A Case Scenario |
A child of separated parents acts up at school. Each parent blames the other. Child custody is now in dispute... |
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Want to settle more cases? Change your language and move from position to interest. Here's what it's about... |
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You may not like the assessment recommendations, but you have time to settle before the gavel comes down... |
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33 |
Some parents give in to their guilt, others feel they have to compete with the shower of gifts as the other parent tries to buy the relationship with the kids. What's a parent to do? This article will tell you! |
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34 |
When you can't play with, but can play beside... Parallel parenting may be for you. |
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35 |
In some high conflict cases, need isn't the issue. It's irreconcilable parental values - wants. Court may be necessary... |
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36 |
The quickest way to escalate conflict between separated parents is with the "C" word. Here is some alternative language to use... |
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37 |
Things were going well. Then one parent remarries, a new family emerges and the kids are in distress. Here's what to do... |
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38 |
It's the relationship that counts, not the 50/50 split. Here's what makes the 100% relationship with your kids following divorce. |
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39 |
First came litigation, then mediation... now it's Collaborative Law. Inroads to settling divorce without going to court. |
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40 |
In marriages we speak of "goodness-of-fit". The same holds true of some professions. This article looks at the relationship between Collaborative Law and Social Work |
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41 |
Parenting Coordinator: An alternative to running back to court |
If issue after issue keeps taking you back to Court, then consider this service. |
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42 |
If you are going to use an assessment critique, make sure the evaluation is credible. Here's how. |
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43 |
Some parents who are undergoing separation or divorce involve their child’s daycare or school in their conflict. This article advises against this and offers suggestions to help. |
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44 |
Children and Divorce: The Role of the Early Childhood Educator |
This article instructs Early Childhood Educators and childcare providers how to manage issues arising from custody and access matters. |
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High conflict parenting battles hurt children. Here are some tips in the interest of the children. |
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46 |
Preferred, Estranged or Alienated?
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In custody and access battles, children's preferences may be at issue but the influences on their preference may be many. This article addresses influences to children's preferences. |
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When parents are determined to fight, mediation can be a challenge. Here's what's involved. |
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48 |
What if you think your custody and access assessment is wrong? This article discusses "assessment critiques". |
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49 |
This article describes that HOW a child custody and access assessment is conducted is as important as what is reported to the integrity of the report. |
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50 |
Access and the adolescent: Issues on both sides of the fence |
Adolescence brings it's own issues to access and residence. Parents need to be flexible and honest to manage the changes. |
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51 |
Parents with restricted access may need help directing their attention and activities to develop relationships for the long term. This article offers suggestions. |
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52 |
Separated/divorced? Can't sort out the care of your children? Use this parenting plan worksheet to help discuss and develop a parenting plan! |
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53 |
Looking for a good counselor? Ask these questions... |
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54 |
This article describes custody and access assessments and what is involved. |
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55 |
What if a parenting plan was developed from the kid's perspective? |
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56 |
Can't get along well enough to communicate effectively. Try this... |
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57 |
What to do when the access parent doesn't show up... |
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58 |
Do some parents go out of their way to make things tough on the access parent? |
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